It's 3:36 am.

I was sleeping soundly ( as most people should) during this hour to wake up because suddenly I have a bloody nose. Thing about me is I get bloody noses frequently, and randomly. But not usually like this, this was bad, and random, I was paralyzed in my bed, face up because I didn't want to dare move and get blood everywhere. So I sat there, and grossly just began to swallow. (which I hate doing)
I began to pray "God please take away this bloody nose, please take away this bloody nose, Lord please..."
Nothing happened. I sat there, distraught and lazy, reluctant to get up and get a tissue.
The blood was still creeping down my throat like a calm river when I tried again: "Lord, I ask you again; in your name. Could you demonstrate your glory to me, and just heal me of this bloody nose? You say ask for anything in your name and I will receive, God please stop this, I hate it. Amen"

And it stopped

I swear mid-drip, everything stopped. And I'm thankful for the clear, obvious display of his power. Because there is no possible way for me to take credit, or deny that my nose was no longer bleeding.
I don't know if you've ever had bloody noses, but after they are even beggining to stop, you still need to be extra cautious.
So I sat up, honestly kind of shocked, and it was like nothing even happened.

So I'm writing a reminder; to believers and unbelievers alike (because sometimes we're not that different).
and my reminder is this; The Lord is God.
His name alone. Is praiseworthy.
Put away everything he does and has done for us, the fact that he exists at all; we should be trembeling at his feet with reverent fear and love for him.
Out of laziness, and I a sinner; God displayed mercy and healing.
He does that.
Because we are to show his glory. He uses us to display how awesome he is.

Healing is kind of something crazy to me, because I have prayed over people and watch them be healed. Have you ever experienced that?
I have really terrible feet and I remember just really asking The Lord that he could heal them for that day, that if he would just seep away the pain I could work more efficiently and it would be great. And instantly; he did.
And honestly, it always kind of freeks me out. I have to second guess it; I'll sit up like I did with my bloody nose, or I'll take a few steps to see if it really doesn't hurt anymore.
I test out God's work.....
Which is wrong, and what a example of how human's are in our faith!
He delivers and we continue to be think "Is this really gone? Or is this really something or other?" and half-ass walk until we receive affirmation, as if there isn't any evidence of God at all?
Or is that just me? I am a second guesser, I see miracles, and then I'm like "wait....am I sure about this?"
There is this story in the old testament where God is speaking to the Israelites, he begins and they all cover there ears and fall flat to the ground on their face because his voice alone is something that stirs up so much emotion, the Israelites had no choice but to flee their hard heart from it.
Joshua puts his face on the ground, unable to move because of the Lord: "But the Lord said to Joshua, "Get up! Why are you lying on your face like this? Israel has sinned and broken my covenant! They have stolen some of the things that I have commanded must be set apart for me. And they have not only stolen them but have lied and hidden the things among their belongings...Get up! command the people to purify themselves...Hidden among you, O Israel, are things set apart for the Lord. You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you." Joshua 7:10-13

Wow, does that blare loud in your ears like it does to mine?
The Lord says this to me: "Gabriella, what are you doing? I have directed you towards what you've been asking for, leading you this entire time, yet now you are lazy and sitting on your face! Get up! It is your sins that weigh you down, ask for forgiveness, seek forgiveness, just get up, just move." And thats only the first part. Anywhere in your life that God is revealing you need to move in? Being lazy in any area? "Don't put it off; do it now! Don't rest until you do!" Proverbs 6:4

The Lord has called us to be his own, to be friends of God. If that doesn't make you want to fall on your face in praise...then there may be some hard hearts among you. What is set apart for him that you are not giving back to him; your body, your heart, your time, your talents, your entire life? You will never defeat your enemies until this idol is removed. Need obedience? Maybe just the beggining desire for it? Ask for it, so God's glory can shine through in your own life.

I'm convinced that the Lord finds our desires- not too strong- but too weak. It's not the desire we have for sin that controls us, but our lack of desire for what we need, and what is real that takes hold of us. We settle. Because sin is something that promises what it won't deliver, something that is lies.
Maybe your having sex, because it resembles something your were made for; love.
Maybe your acting in pride because it resembles a truth when used in a certain way; humility.
Maybe your gossiping because it resembles a former, yet remaining truth; that our words have power.

What if we, as Christians, didn't settle?
What if we got off our faces in obedience, and seeked what we were made for?
Seek God.
Seek him in every circumstance, because he is there. Whether you see him, believe him; or not. He doesn't cease power for our ignorance.
Because he is God, because he works, because he loves.
He uses everything for his glory, are your eyes seeing that?

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened" Matthew 7:7-8

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philppians 4:6

God is the Father, so you should ask him. He knows what you need, but out of love and gentleness; he's waiting for you to see that you need it too.

He loves us.



So at 4:18 in the morning I say this: he hears us, he loves us, he's with us. Go back to him, it is better to be walking with a broken leg then to not be walking at all.

Thank you

Philippians 4:6

Galatians 4:6

Woah, them both being 4:6 was completely coincidental and I didn't even notice until now, ha.

Matthew 6:33-34

Lord, if there is any way I could go to Biola right off the bat; make it happen.

I'm beggining to think about my essay now, and one of them pretty much asks for your testimony. So I'm revisiting my diaries, particularly the one from 2008, which I have read entirely once.
but I haven't reflected on any of my journals in a long time. 12/15/08 I talk about how I'm thinking of becoming abstinence, it's funny because by this time I am a Christian but I haven't even mentioned God's name yet, or really even spoken of him. And then I continue on to talk about my next boyfriend, and how I'm excited about it, and how I don't think I have met him yet. And I was right, because my next boyfriend I didn't meet until that summer, and we didn't even date until 2010. So it's interesting how God lines things up.

Today I rest that I am being taken care of.

Seasons of faith

"I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayers for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as log as I have breath! Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord; "Please, Lord, save me!" How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death and he saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord's presence as I live here on earth! I trusted in the Lord when I said, “I am greatly afflicted”; in my alarm I said, “Everyone is a liar.” What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me, I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people" Psalm 116:1-14

We go through seasons of faith.

I was driving home the other night and it was raining so hard. I was coming home from Rachel's and I live in Scotts Valley, so it wasn't a very long ride, but it felt like it took forever. Along the drive I noticed the rain, in some areas it was lighter, and in some areas it was pouring. But in every part of the storm, I kept driving. I wasn't going to pull on the side of the road and wait for the rain to stop. No, I continued to drive, even when I could barely see.

That is how my walk with Christ this year has been. I've had days of heavy rain, and days of light rain. Sometimes I could not even see, but I am not going to give up on my walk with Christ just because it is hard. God doesn't stop the rain for us; he gives us a umbrella.

I believe I am entering a new season, less about being broken, and more about regaining joy and love for the Lord.

Restoration is near.