This is going to be honest

For the most part, this blog has never even been about me. It's only about God, it really is, I knew it would be. It's because he delivers me wit wisdom, and what use is wisdom if it is not shared or lived out? If God prompts me to say something, even if that means being humiliated, I would LOVE to for him. And I KNOW the importance of being bold in your faith. I never mean to boast about what I'm doing in my life, because I don't do anything of importance, but I do boast about what God is doing. And he does a lot. Without him I undoubtedly know I'd be nothing, nothing. My life has no purpose if not to serve him, and try my hardest. I get lost, I get tossed around, but all the grace I've been blessed with him is all his doing. I didn't know when starting this blog what I'd write, who would read it, what would be the reaction of others. And I truly didn't care, because I know whats important to me, and I love to share. I believe in people sharing, and why not share about the glory of my heavenly father? I expected 2 reactions: 1. people to be inspired towards furthering a relationship with God, 2. people to be totally annoyed and think I believe I'm all that/ a holy roller annoying Jesus freak. And those reactions are fine. Because I know what I'm called to do. And I love the fact that because I love and openly share about God, some people don't like me for that. I love it. That sounds weird, but I mean if someone could seriously dislike me just because I like God, then that is their insecurity. And makes sense to me. In a weird way I feel God protecting me by keeping certain people close, and other people at a far distance from me.I don't talk about God to people who don't want to hear it, if they have questions, fine with me if God presents a oppurunity and words to answer them with. But if they hate it, it won't come up, but I'm sticking to who I am, and all that is: is who I am in Christ. I know how touchy the idea of God can be, great, I would NEVER mean to come off abrasive. I may put myself out there in weird ways, outgoing ways that don't even have to do with God. And thats partly due to my personality, and partly do to my confidence in God. I believe in certain things, and thats why I'll use certain words, or do thing that seem odd. But it makes sense to me. This is just who I am. I have a strong love for people, I always have. I always wanted to be looked at as the girl who you could trust or count on, who you'd want to seek for advice. (whether I live that out or not, whatevah.) I think loving people is beyond important, and not just for the good point, but their faults too. I like people who don't like me. I always have, even before I was a Christian. I think it's a issue how many people look up to me because of my faith. I don't want to be your idle, but I do wanna be your friend. My faith is great at times, but at other times it's not. As much as I would love to be like "i'm like no one you'll ever meet, I'm so wise and I am friends with everyone. I'm way to cool for high school" that would be a lie. Thats not how I think of myself at all. I love myself, because God loves me, I have always been confident. No not in the physical sense, but just as a person. And I think thats important. A lot of times my joy rubs off on people, and I'm always glad to help anyone. But some people seek me out because they think I'm perfect, or that I have great insight. I don't think I'm any of that. I have put so much prayer and thought into my words and actions. Because I know weary people listen to me, for whatever the reason people (not all) trust me. And I try to be great example because god calls me too, but also because I am such a self-proclaimed Christian and if I stumble: people notice. I get the whole "she's a Christian and bla and she does this". Ah no, don't think because I do something wrongly that its ok. In those sinful areas is where I receive my grace, but always better yourself for yourself, out of your love for God. I have no idea what this blog is about or going. But it was honest. Because lately I've been catching myself saying things I don't really mean, not lies, but just random things that I just say. And I'm working on only saying things that I actually mean not wondering how that person will take it. I don't want to say things to keep up some sort of facade of perfection. In the way that I love others, it's my greatest hope that others will love me for all that I am. I believe in living with harmony with one another, especially if your brothers and sisters in Christ. And of course to any unbelievers or lost sheep. Words are like pearls, they have meaning, don't waste them, use them with good intentions.
Bottom line: I just wanna be me,Whoever I might be that moment.