BIG aspirations

1. I want to be more gentle, i feel so ungentle.
2. I don't want to be misleading, i don't want anyone to be confused about who I belong too. I've noticed that I only show my heart for God sometimes, through little actions, encouraging others, or actually talking about him. And that is wrong, my heart should be showing all the time! It should always be obvious that I am wholly in love with Christ! And that is where I become misleading. Being sarcastic or rude jokes to make people laugh, that is completely misleading, that does not show how much I love god or people.
3. I want to be more obedient. I was talking to a friend and he talked about how obedient he is to god in little things, like when the holy spirit leads him to take a homeless man to coffee, or to pray with someone. And I thought, wow I hinder my spirit to be more humanely acceptable. I want to be obedient to God, I've been praying for my spirit to call me places, and to tell me to do things that I might be scared of, but out of love and obedience to God. He gave my this body to work for him, eyes to see people in need, ears to listen, a mouth to speak, he gave me everything. I could at least give to him as much as I can. There has been times where I am totally embarassd to bring up God to someone, but I feel like I am really supposed to encourage or talk to them in someway, and I have. I have served God before myself, because I should not be proud. It really hits me in Acts when Paul makes a speech after being beaten and he says "I can leave humbly knowing that I preached boldy about the word of God". I always ask myself, would I be able to say that? Am I doing God's work were he calls me too, even in my own home? Not always, actually rarely. I'm not going to glitterfy, or not preach the message because of my own pride, even if people hate me for it, Jesus was HATED, KILLED, BEATEN, and he continued to preach the message (of course I'll do so with caution and grace). But I just want to be obedient to God, no matter what labels come with it.
4. and lastly i want a real consistency with all these things, and I want more consistency in my time and praying/talking with God. I need consistency
5. I also really want to be overcome with joy and positivity, as I should be because I have God in my life! I know I will never get over his love for me, never, and that should always be something that knowing, SHAKES ME INTERNALLY. But I want to spread joy. There is so much negativity literally POURED into people's life, have you noticed facebook? People pour their emotions into status's, what if instead of pouring your back, you poured in love and something joyful! I want to bring in excitement and positivity into facebook, and peoples lives.
6. I would rather be known as gentle, humble, god fearing, stupid christian girl, or anything bad or good anyone could call me. Then pretty, popular, funny, or dateable. I really want to be recognized by my love and actions rather then what i look like. And thats something I need to live in. I also need to work on putting others before myself, it's not about me, it's not even about you, it's just about God. He gave me life, he is my life, and thats the life I want to live: one only for him and only because of him.