inspired by James and Twin Lakes Church

THANK GOD he made my manager schedule me late today so I as actually able to go to morning Church, clearly he wanted me there. Because the message was made for me, it as so freeking relatable. Because I had this weird issue with God lately (look at other blogs) and I could not figure out where all this distance with me and him was coming from. I knew it was my fault. I'm the kind of person who believes in making the best decision possible, the most holy, the most safe, one that is examplatory, and I always pray about big decisions (of course that isn't wrong or anything). But IT STRESSES ME OUT, I sometimes worry so much about my decisions and what people will think of me, more then what God will think of me. And that is crazy! When making a decision I try to look at all positive and negatives and every side and all that bla, and the future bla bla, and there are so many verses that tell you not to worry. So say "Uh how could I be worried?" and it may calm me for a second, but I don't always live that out. But it came in loud and clear today. I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. People put so much pressure on me and on themselves to be perfect, completely forgetting whom they should be living for. With decisions I realized the simple beauty: God is more powerful then my decisions. Our pastor at tlc (Rene) talked about how when he makes decisions he often feels like he'll be "missing the dot". Meaning that there are a pile of dots, and only one of them are the right one. Like we are faced with so many decisions and only one of them is God's will. And thats a lot of times how my thinking is: "I need to pray about this, God has to be included! I want to serve him, and stick to his will..straight path bla.". And I get so caugt up in being scared that I'll make a wrong decision and God will be there shaking his head at me, waiting to punish me. Thats wrong. Where did this idea that God gets dissapointed and wants to punish us come from? Greek mythology, made up Gods, not the Bible, which is full truth. And I am not following a greek God, I'm following my God, the God who has ALWAYS existed. And know what is really great about my God? HE ADORES ME. God is good, as simple as that. He isn't waiting for you to fail anytime a decision comes along, he isn't up in cloud with a lightening bolt at hand to throw at you. But he's waiting to hold you when you feel at your lowest, give you strength when you know you couldn't go on any longer. At Church Rene showed us verses from 1Corinthians that literally say "if you want to marry, marry, make the decision". And our decisions aren't always about marriage, but we do have a lot. And THE BIBLE says to make your decisions yourself, ya that simple, do what you feel is right. Because I so often forget that God isn't going to punish me for making the wrong decision. But whats even stupider is that somewhere in my mind, saying that, is doubting his power. And he is powerful, no matter what I do, I don't change him, or our relationship. I can't hinder it, I can't impress him, and I definetly can't lose him. So what do I get so scared of? I think it's more dissapointing people around me, more then God. His grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in his hands. I thought about it like this: One time I had to rely on this navigator to get me somewhere that I didn't know how to get there myself. The naigator took me to really strange places that I just didn't feel were right, I kep thinking know I want to get on the freeway, I choose this way. I kept not following it's directions. And everytime I chose my own way it would say "redirecting" so that I'd end up where I'm supposed to be. That is what God does with our lives. No matter what decisions we make, we always end up where he wants us, because he knows how to get u there. His purpose will always prevail. Gosh this is was all so simple, and so freeing for me. God you are so good, I'm desperately in love with you.