7 random thoughts strung together

1. How humans will with hold love to change someone. Example? Like if some girl talked behind another girls back, the girl who was talked about will be really mean to the other girl (most likely to intimidate her,stupid). But the point is the girl who was talked about wants to change the other girls ways, so she won't gossip about her again. Doesn't it sound kind of stupid to with hold love on someone to change them? Because doesn't that just end up making them repulsed by you, instead of respecting you therefore they want to change? So realizing this it's another reminder to constantly love everyone, no matter what they have done to you. Love a person for who they are, not their actions. Although actions speak louder then words, they don't always clearly represent the persons heart. People do make mistakes. Forgive because your heavenly Father has forgiven you, and he delivers you strength and fruits of the spirit to do so (ask and you will receive). Keep in mind that it's not your responsibility to change others, for only God can work/know their heart. And he will change them. Just as the way we shouldn't worry about ourselves because we trust God is taking care of us, we can't worry about another, we have to trust God is taking care of them too. It's not our job to make anyone happy or take care of anyone, or decide who gets into heaven, it's God, and none of us should try to do his work. So pray if you want change, but remember God won't grant unless it's according to his perfect will. I'm not suggesting that we don't help change people (for the better or worse), but as my hope for me, and for others in Christ, that we would be great examples of the richness of our Father. Point blank: God doesn't with hold love to change us, it's because of his love that we do change.

2. "So I died to the law- I stopped trying to meet it's requirements so that I might live for God. My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless." Galatians 2:19-21. Hey Bible, your everything to me, along with your creator, thanks for putting everything in perfectly harsh, clear, and loving words, in the way I or anyone ever could. Thanks for being true, and unchanged for centuries.

3. All of Romans 2.

4. Snow camp was really great, really peaceful. But far different from last year, that being good or bad I have yet to decide. Last year I came to snow camp: nervous, lost, distracted, eager, and for the most part a "woe is me" wreck needing grace from her Lord. And this year I came in: stable, confident, excited about the Lords work recently, and ready to have intimate conversations about Christ (which I did). Last year I remember everything being really slow, and me being utterly thankful for it. This year it went really fast, almost like my head wasn't in the moment, and everything just passed by. But both years: I had so much fun. Snow camp was fun and peaceful, and I did get my thinking and one on one time which I have been asking for ever so consistently.

5. Just how blessed I have been lately. I found myself stupidly bored with my life, same routine: School, sleep, church, and work. Of course I'd hang out with friends, but nothing exciting at all. But recently the excitement and richness of life has been put back into my routine, things have been getting better (aside from the random ugly thoughts or moods). Everything has been good. Mind you this has been my feelings for the last month: I love where I am. With God, with friends, with family, with myself.

6. "God is a relationship, a person I know I can fully trust, but somewhere in my mind and actions I show a lack of faith, don't we all? And I don't know the "right" way to "fix it". Theres so many questions, thoughts, and contradictions that I could bring up to make myself doubt God, and doubt that following him is worth it. But it doesn't take away from his reality, his truth. I may talk myself into dark corners of questioning, not feeling good, making pressure where it doesn't need to be. HUMANIZING everything. God isn't human. I won't fully understand him. Because I am not him, just in the way I wouldn't understand one of my friends, because I am not them." (I wrote in my journal 8/31/09). Next thought: I realized at snow camp while reading old passages just why I love doing that so much. Because my diary, are thoughts I've written down, not only do I love to re-visit my past so evidently, but it reminds me of realizations I've already had that I have forgotten, or haven't been practicing. Making them new and just as beautiful as they were the first time I realized it. But I'm not bragging about my knowledge or anything, but I'm excited for the work Christ has done through me, to me, and for me. I owe everything I have to him, everything. And he has allowed my spirit to speak into my diary so that I won't forget his glory. And I love that I don't alter my diary according to people's opinions, it's just honestly how I feel, or honestly what God is doing. And I think thats something to be excited about, just Christs work in general. I mean how often to we forget he's consistent, and always working with us even when we aren't working with him?

7. God isn't human, his son was, but he was also fully God. Leading me to think there will always be a space of doubt for every believer, or anyone who is seeking after grace. But the space of his love and my faith runs deeper. It's ok to doubt, we can't help it (very much), but you have to ask yourself, which emotion is greater? The doubt or the faith? And I hope that your faith will run deeper then your doubt, my doubt, our doubt. All things are possible through Christ, keep seeking and God will make sure your faith runs deeper then your doubt and worry. Haven't you read those verses that say "ask our gracious father and receive" "seek and you will find" ? Don't be afraid to be real with God, for he knows, but he's waiting for you to ask him for his forgiveness and his strength. But you must be honestly willing, and honest towards God to accept change, and know it's possible but only with him. Even if that means pain and trial.


I don't want to forget these things, these moments, so maybe this blog was written to me (a reminder to myself), or maybe God called me to write it for you. Either way this is just what has been on my mind, and I like to share. (btw, I appreciate feedback, I always wonder who reads these, and if they make sense, or if you liked and or hated them or not? feel free to tell me, or ask me anything. I promise to be quick to listen for anything)