From the Diary of Gabriella Gaus

I am on staff at twin lakes for Jr.Highers, and every Tuesday from 5:45-8:30 I'm there with them. I mention this because I and another staff member Valerie have a 7th grade small group together. And they are sooooo amazing. Today we were talking about joy, and how having joy is a choice. And how different it is from being happy. Because happiness depends on your circumstances, but joy truly is a choice. And as a girl who knows Christ, I will always have a reason to be joyful no matter what. How close we have grown together as a small group, is something so beautiful that I didn't even think about until today. In the begginging so many of the girls didn't talk, and didn't hang out together outside of our small group. But now everyone shares, everyone listens, and everyone loves each other even when our small group isn't in session. We have formed intimate relationships because of the love and awe we share for our heavenly Father, and those are the BEST friendships. But after bible study got out I didn't feel to well, weird switch in my emotions. I wanted to go home, I got really frustrated and just annoyed with circumstances of my life. And thankfully, God had me open up my diary because I was looking for this password I forgot, but I got so lost in my old wisdom, words, hurts, and things I wrote down that I haven't read in so long. When I came across this entry "oh my gosh, I'm getting it, this is what I've been waiting for! Lord help me really follow and pursue you, this is truth. Ok, I'm ready for my own relationship with you. I'm ready to follow you, even if that means giving myself to you everyday over and over. I'm ready to stop thinking about the world or shameful, angry thoughts. I want your love and kindness to spill over me so I can be made into a awesome example. Keep me with you, because I don't know how you work, but I believe, I want to take your life." And bam, instant tears. Mostly because of the line "oh my gosh, I'm getting it" Because when I said "it" I meant the love Christ has for me. God made sense, the spirit filled me, I had my moment of seeing God, and him becoming my own reality, and knowing that I will never again be the same. Instant joy for my savior who saved me before I realized it, and every day after my decision to let him save me. I choose joy, I choose God, I choose love, I choose the freedom in which he has offered me. "And all of the sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, when I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me". Thats how I feel right now. God is a blanket full of peace and I am so wrapped in it, it feels amazing. I don't know everyone situations, but I know of a savior, I know his beauty can bring anyone to tears as it does to me. I just really hope everyone will take a step towards him, and keep walking with him if you have taken that step already.
I feel at peace, thank you Lord