heavy hearts

do you ever feel like your heart is weighing a thousand pounds and it seems very likely it's going to fall right out and scream? and then God literally shakes you and you fall back into his grace, and feel dumb for EVER doubting him. Do you ever have a flashing mental image that your just drowning and waves are crashing all around you and your hand keeps reaching past the surface and no one is there to grab it? And then all of the sudden you stop being so self centered and realize your not the only one. You feel like God keeps pulling you to the same person over and over and your work and fellowship with them just feels pointless? And then they say one thing and it'll remind you that your work with God is never pointless, even if you never see that person come to Christ. Or that you couldn't possibley ever speak again because your so broken and you just want to be saved? And God gives you a voice and saves you over and over and over again. Do you ever feel dumb coming to God for the same thing continually? But you realize that he is still doing something with that issue and that is why it's still on your heart. Or have you ever felt like the whole entire world around you, your friends, or family are breaking and you HAVE to save them? And God intervenes and you realize it was never your job to save them in the first place. Do you ever want sooooo badly for someone to love and worship God because it's so amazing? And then you realize everybody has different relationships with God and he works in people different ways then he works in you, and god see's everything they do and you don't, and maybe they are loving and worshipping him. Do you ever secretley think your better then someone and loving God because you don't have sex or do drugs or cuss? And then you feel stupid because you KNOW all sins are equal in God's eyes and who are you to judge or compare yourself to someone else.
Because I'm pretty sure I've never felt any of those, ever.