I just realized I have become so obsessed with "figuring out the right way"

the right way to praise God, to live on this Earth, to be a high schooler, to being a daughter. I have been living such a strict disciplined life, and i LOVE discipline, I love pleasing God, or trying too. But it's stressing me out, I feel closed in a box, and I don't think thats how God wants my relationship with him or life too be at all. I have been stressing out and just really concentrating on "being a good girl". Living biblically, and trying t escape obvious sin, and I've been stripping out the beauty of God. I need to enjoy my life, and rely on Christ to shape me into who he wants me to be. I have been praying for strength to over come some things, but I haven't been relying on him, I've been relying on me. And I can't do that, thats why I'm freeking out, I'm not meant to be perfect, or to do anything with out my father's help. I have not been accepting grace or the freedom that he so clearly offers me, Jesus died so I would have this chance to live freely, but acknowledge God. A lot of my better actions do come naturally from God. I agree with beating my body into a pleasing form for God, but if only your body, and not your heart is in that, it's almost worthless. It's almost a lie. Now I'm not doubting god at all, but I'm wandering back into grace, forgiving myself, and accepting forgiveness. Being cleansed. It's not about being a good girl so ill be less ashamed on judgement day. My heart has been praising rules, not the glory of the trinity. Laws and rules don't save me. I have been trying to impress God, and I can't, I'm sure I don even recognize half of my sins. This stress of God constantly watching, and me so badly wanting to live a life pleasing to him is causing me to fail more, and more stress. I need to embrace freedom, I need to embrace the character of God. Who exaclty is God? No human could every fully tell you, and we don't need to know. God has been faithful by giving us what we do need to know to live a life for him. I just love him, deeply deeply love and know h is real. And that why I am saved, that is why I have hope in him. I won't impress him, I won't win favorite, but I rejoice that he's alive. Thats all I can do. I'd like to escape the humanly pressure of being a "good girl", but I don't know how. I'd rather rest in my hope in Christ, then drive myself crazy with biblical guidelines. Let it come naturally and fully from God, let me rely on him to transform me, I did that so well in the beggining. I don't know the right way to do anything, any where, not just for God, and thats fine, just fine, because I have a hope greater then my worries.